QPR Checklist

A QPR (queerplatonicsometimes quasiplatonic or quirkyplatonicrelationship), similar to the romantic friendship, is a relationship that rides the messy line between platonic and romantic. While there are many checklists out there for negotiating sexual, kink, and physical touch boundaries, I haven’t seen such a list for the other potential elements of a QPR (though this list can be applied to many other relationship types; it was, however, written with this one in mind). So, I’ve created a list to consider below.

First, Resources:

Romantic Friendship on Wikipedia

Work Spouse on Wikipedia

A QPR Dating Checklist

Boston Marriage on Wikipedia

Queerplatonic Relationship on LGBTA Wikia

Romantic Friendship on Psychology Wikia

Platonic Life Partners on TVTropes

Heterosexual Life Partners on TVTropes


  • Gifting to Each Other
  • Planning Career/Education Decisions and Changes Together
  • Having Mutual Funds
  • Having Mutual Assets
  • Having Mutual Spaces
  • Having Mutual Objects
  • Merging Finances/Financial Planning
  • Having a Non-Legal Commitment Ceremony
  • Cohabitating
  • Sharing Political/Religious Views and Activities
  • Having/Adopting Children Together
  • Sharing Domestic Responsibilities
  • Meal Planning Together
  • Having Pets Together
  • Going on Dates
  • Getting Legally Married
  • Entering a Legal Domestic Partnership
  • Being in a Long Distance Relationship
  • Moving Cross Country/Internationally Together
  • Sharing Insurance Plans
  • Sharing Bills or Subscriptions
  • Sharing Social Media Profiles
  • Traveling Alone Together
  • Granting Power of Attorney
  • Mutual Estate/End of Life/Health Care Planning
  • Name Changes/Taking Their Last Name
  • Having Relationship Signifiers (Wedding Rings, Friendship Bracelets)
  • Having a Relationship Exit Plan
  • Mutual Gifting to Others
  • Having a Relationship Agreement or Contract
  • Being In Frequent Contact
  • Spending Frequent Time Together
  • Being Involved With Each Other’s Families/Other Partners
  • Spending Holidays Together
  • Celebrating Valentine’s Day
  • Celebrating Anniversaries
  • Saying “I Love You”
  • Saying “I Miss You” When Apart
  • Expressing General Gratitude
  • Expressing Pride in the Other
  • Reading Aloud or Singing to Each Other
  • Complimenting Each Other
  • Using Endearment or Pet Names
  • Showing Virtual Affection (Heart Emojis, *hugs*, etc.)
  • Writing Love Letters or Notes
  • Going to Couple’s Counseling or Therapy When in Crisis
  • Applying Relationship Labels
  • Sharing Your Location/Tracking
  • Being Public About Your Relationship
  • Having Exclusivity Agreements

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